Archive for the ‘Pickup’ Category
Jeremy Soul – #1 Daytime Dating Coach has Codified His Wisdom in a Book!
The first time I saw Jeremy Soul was the first day of Project Rockstar 2008…long before I was a Love Systems Instructor. I remember the first thing I thought was “Is this someone’s random roomate that just walked into our meeting or something cause there is no way this guy can pick up chics?” Then Mr. M said “Let me introduce you to Soul” …and I did a double take. I hope he doesn’t mind me saying, but at the time I almost literally couldn’t believe that this was the guy I had heard about from so many people. I thought he was way too ugly to get even one girl, let alone practically anyone he wants. Well, I still had a lot to learn back then…
Since then we’ve had some crazy fun adventures together, taught workshops all over the world and I consider him one of my best friends to boot. Jeremy is the living embodiment of the Love System’s ethos that anyone, regardless of race, background, looks etc., can have boundless success in life, given they are willing to put in the time and effort. Jeremy Soul has put in that time and effort, and then some. I’ve seen him at moments of peak experience, stopping groups of models on the street and charming them in minutes…just as we’ve been there for each other when things aren’t so hot.
He is one of the most inspiring and level-headed people I know, and is a master teacher in every sense of the word. Jeremy has this way of meeting people wherever they are at in life and working with them, alongside them, to improve their love lives, concepts of relationship and overall sense of well-being. And while it is a great gift to be able to teach others, his skills are born from endless trial and error to the point where he can confidently and cooly walk up to a girl like this and have a date set within 15 minutes.
I’m proud to count him as one of my best mates. And have no reservations giving his upcoming book Daytime Dating – Never Sleep Alone a resounding endorsement. Two thumbs up. He’s been working on this book for the better part of two years, and from what I’ve seen it is the hands-down, definitive guide to meeting and attracting quality women in the daytime anywhere.
Check out the sample chapters and keep an eye out for the release date. I literally can’t wait to read the whole thing
Daytime Dating – Never Sleep Alone by Jeremy Soul
Peace,
Jesse Starlight
Stay Out of the Let’s Just Be Friends Zone – In Asia and Beyond
Stay Out of the Let’s Just Be Friends Zone – In Asia and Beyond
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Over the last couple weeks Savoy and I have been communicating back and forth with some members of the Love System’s community in Asia. I’m excited to discover that there are a number of people in China (both expats and locals alike) that are taking this part of their lives seriously.
Some people have a very mistaken belief about Love Systems and seduction. They think that Love Systems is “American” and so would be different in another culture.
Of course that’s not really right. Most Love Systems instructors are not Americans. Most Love Systems instructors live outside the United States. Some of the most senior Love Systems instructors are ethnically Korean, Chinese, Sri Lankan., etc.
The reason I’m so passionate about Love Systems is that everything we teach is rooted in observing real interactions with real people, trying out ideas and keeping what actually works. It’s kind of like applying the scientific method to dating and relationships….kind of
Anyhow here are some emails that Savoy and I exchanged with a Shanghai-based member of the community, hope they help:
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From: [Redacted]
Date: Sun, 02 Jul 2010 10:29:08 -0700
To: Savoy
Subject: Dating in China
Savoy,
I am taking this part of my life seriously. I purchased the Routines Manual 1 and 2, Phone Game and the Magic Bullets Handbook from you. It is the one part of my life I want to improve on. I do have a question. I notice that I mostly end up as “lets just be friends” and I am starting to realize that means I am not making a physical move earlier. I wish I could fix my inner game because this happens quite often. Any advice or tips?
I do have a question. Does Love Systems material work across different cultures. I live in Shanghai and there are heaps of attractive women but I think due to the language they may not understand push/pull, cocky/funny, etc. What is your take on that?
Finally, do you have any Love Systems instructors in China? I may be interested in a one on one worksheet or to take a boot camp. I want this part of my life figured out and I appreciate the weekly newsletter.
Yours,
[Redacted]
——————
From: Savoy
Date: Sun, 03 Jul 2010 07:49:28 -0700
To: [Redacted]
Cc: Starlight
Subject: Re: Dating in China
Hi [Redacted],
It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’ve been hearing a lot about Shanghai since Starlight got there. Have you read his blog by any chance?
http://www.datingcoachstarlight.com/
Avoiding let’s just be friends is often, indeed, a matter of making the overall frame of the conversation more flirtatious, sexualizing the conversation as appropriate, and touching. At some point you need to make a statement of interest in her. Two common times to do this are 1/ with your opener, if you are being direct, or 2/ during qualification. I lot of people skip qualification and it’s a bad idea. One of the big benefits of it is you can then say to a girl, without creeping her out, “wow, I really like X and Y about you. It makes me think we could have a lot in common,” or something like that. It makes the overall context (romantic/sexual) less ambiguous. Let me know if you see what I’m getting at here – if not, I can explain in more detail with more examples.
Love Systems definitely works around the world; the experience of our trainers worldwide had fed into everything we do. About 1/3 of LS instructors don’t have English as their first language. Starlight’s blog (above) has some good material on this. There was also a study done in Hong Kong on whether Love Systems works as well there as in the rest of the world. Here’s the link. Now that’s not to say that cultural and linguistic differences are irrelevant. Of course they are relevant – some phrases, jokes, conversation patterns need to be adjusted for another language, some things may be more or less appropriate, but in general, the bottom line is the same. Do NOT listen to girls who want more spoiling or guys who are making excuses for themselves who tell you that Shanghai or Chinese girls are different for some reason and so you can’t have the same expectations. I started learning Love Systems in the Persian Gulf. My first lay using stuff that eventually became Magic Bullets was with a local girl who normally wore the chador. If it can work there, it can work in Shanghai.
-NS
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From: Starlight
Date: Sun, 03 Jul 2010 07:49:28 -0700
To: [Redacted]
Cc: Savoy
Subject: Re: Re: Dating in China
Hey [Redacted],
How’s it going? Savoy let me know that you were in China and forwarded me some questions you had as well as some sticking points you were running into. I’ve been in and out of China consistently for the last 2 years, and now live in Beijing. Perhaps I can help.
Let’s Just Be Friends: The best way to stay out of the “friend zone” is to state your interest early and often. Personally, in almost all cases, I’ll approach a girl and say something along the lines of “Listen, I know this is really forward, but I noticed you from across the room with my friends and I’d really regret if I didn’t come over here and say you look absolutely gorgeous tonight” – You can substitute gorgeous with something more specific if you like, “you have a really unique sense of style, I had to say you look very well put together and fashionable” – or any other variation.
Now, this is the first thing I say. And if it hits, it amps up the attraction straight away. So I usually diffuse it with something a little less intense, like “What’s the occasion tonight?” or “What are you guys up to?” – something that wouldn’t be too useful if it was the first words out of my mouth. From there, you Transition into some Attraction material. If you’re stuck on this one, a go-to line I’ll use is:
“Well I have some friends visiting this week. We don’t get to see each other that often, but we’ve always made it a point to get together a couple times a year…and this time we’re all in Shanghai, so I’m in charge of showing them a good time! Are you from here?”
Then you can get her to suggest an activity that is not to be missed. If it sucks or is typical, you can tease her about it. If it’s awesome then reward her with a high-five or a hug.
Logistical Progression: Then continue on talking, and remember to keep changing locations within the venue as your conversation continues. I can’t overstate this enough. Keep changing locations every 5-25 minutes. It may seem like a small thing, but try it.
Our brain stores memories as individual images…more like a snapshot, than a movie. So if you meet a girl at the bar and have a great conversation for 20 minutes, exchange numbers and part ways, she only has one memory of you “the guy she met at the bar.” On the other hand, if you meet at the bar, talk for 5 minutes, introduce her to your friends and chat for 10 minutes, then go outside and get some fresh air and talk for another 5 minutes, the difference in her recollection is remarkable. With these three logistical moves (inside the same venue) she will have a much richer memory of you, and that builds comfort which could be the difference between her answering your call or meeting up at a later time.
Physical Progression: When you first approach, let your hand lightly brush against her fingers. See if she responds, or wraps a finger or two around your hand as you deliver your opener. Great way to screen for attraction off the bat. Second, when you’re sitting and talking (ESPECIALLY in Asia) public displays of affection are not always acceptable. Put a pillow over your lap, or your jacket, and hold her hand underneath it. Massage the pressure point in between the thumb and forefinger lightly while talking.
If you do these things, it is pretty hard to end up in the “friend zone” even if you are not telling her how hot she looks every five minutes. You are subcommunicating that you’re interested in her as more than a friend with the physicality, and don’t forget to tease a bit and be willing to walk away if she gives you attitude or is a jerk. Continue having a great night and she may well come back and talk to you if she thinks she made a mistake by disqualifying you (ie: you’re having fun no matter what…it’s her loss!)
Hope this helps.
Jesse Starlight
Stay Out of the Let’s Just Be Friends Zone – In Asia and Beyond is another post by Dating Coach Starlight
Other Similar Posts Include: Finding Yourself a Chinese Lover – What Not To Do
Savoy Gets Back to Basics: Fundamentals of Approaching
Hey Guys,
One of the great things about working with, and learning from Savoy is that as tight as his game is, and as deep as his knowledge is of pretty much all areas of pickup, he maintains rock-solid fundamentals and adheres to the Emotional Progression Model and Triad concepts consistently…and consistently has some pretty stellar stories to tell after the fact.
So, check out Savoy’s post today on the Fundamentals of Approaching.
Here’s a sneak peek:
The most important reflex to internalize is eyes -> feet. See a beautiful woman, move your feet. The rest will follow naturally. Even if you just walk up to her and blank out and say, “hi”, it’s still much better than nothing. Train your mind and body to be in that situation, and next time you won’t forget your opener.
…Honestly, internalizing that reflex alone will change your dating life considerably. Check out the rest of the article here: How to Approach a Girl At a Bar
Game on,
Starlight
Savoy Gets Back to Basics: Fundamentals of Approaching is another post by Dating Coach Starlight
How to Kill Approach Anxiety: Do 100 Approaches!
Hey Guys,
So, last weekend on Saturday was probably the clearest day in San Francisco all year. Sunny, warm, not a cloud in the sky. And as if the end of winter and impending arrival of Spring and Summer wasn’t enough, to make for a perfect day of Day Game, we had the St. Patrick’s Day Parade AND Brides of March going on in SF. Brides of March is where around 500 girls, lesbians (and some drag queens) get dressed up like brides and march through SF drinking and getting stoned 
Anyhow, that’s background. I had a 1-to-1 with a hispanic guy who wanted to accomplish one thing, and one thing only, on our session: Kill Approach Anxiety…Forever.
He told me if he didn’t approach 100 girls today he didn’t feel like he’d ever get enough confidence to approach on his own. Hmm, I thought to myself, did some quick mental math and figured, well, if he approaches around 15 girls/hour for 7 hours that is a little over 100.
Basically, as a Love Systems Instructor, it’s all about giving the client what they want. That’s not just some feel-good corporate line, actually we DO listen to clients and, if it is even remotely feasible, work towards giving them exactly what they want.
So, after a quick primer and some opening exercises (he had taken a bootcamp before, so didn’t need to go over the whole Emotional Progression Model and Triad) we hit Union Square and got to work!
And to make double-sure that we didn’t miss an approach, I whipped out the trusty notepad and made tallys for each set. If he got blown out right away or it didn’t go well, he would come back and say “No, no, don’t count that one!”
And there you have it, 100 approaches…and a reminder for him to do role plays that I would hold up over the girl’s head so he could be reminded to incorporate his interests as a photographer…asking if she would be his model for the final photo shoot for his Isla del Alcatraz photo shoot, ha!
The St. Patty’s Day parade was going off around Noon and people were throwing beads, throwing back shots and throwing candy all over Market St. Basically there was no shortage of people to talk to, including this cute little leprechaun
All in all, he approached 103 girls (that he wanted to count!) – and I gotta give big props to Sergio for coming up from Santa Cruz to help out.
Somewhere around set #28, he came back and I said “Dude, she was hot!” and he goes “Really? I didn’t notice.” And at first methinks, ok he’s being sarcastic. Then the look on his face told me he was serious. So, not to let that happen again, I drew up a little note to hold up so he could know, without a shadow of a doubt, that the girl he was talking to was hot:
The moral of the story, and the reason I have big respect for this client, is that he recognized a problem he wanted to fix and pushed himself to the absolute limit to overcome it. It’s not enough to just read books/posts and go out and approach a couple girls a month expecting to get good. No. You need to go out and Approach, plow as far as you can, get feedback from a professional, and then go do it again, and Again, and AGAIN…that is how to get good!
He we are after set #89 in front of the Love Systems-esque heart in Union Square.
Seriously, approaching 103 girls in one day!? That has got to be a world record of pickup! Get out there and make it happen guys. See ya on the streets.
Game on,
Starlight
How To Kill Approach Anxiety: Do 100 Approaches! is another post by Dating Coach Starlight
Playboy Mansion Denouement – An Illustrated Account of Kandy Masquerade 2010
Playboy Mansion Denouement – An Illustrated Account of Kandy Masquerade
“God I love my life”
That was the first thought that popped into my head as I opened my eyes, slightly hungover, and found myself looking out across Los Angeles valley…all the way to the ocean, totally clear. That happens like, what, once a year?
Second thought: “Oh damn, there even playing the Adam K remix of 4am down at the pool!” – But then I realized I just left my computer on repeat when I passed out at like 5:12am.
The Playboy Mansion did not fail to disappoint. We made sure to arrive early and were treated to the grand entrance of entirely naked, fully body-painted models and playmates alike
I proposed to a number of girls…and I remember at least two of them saying yes. This is a dangerous habit of mine, especially when doing programs with Future, because somehow, someway he is officially an ordained minister. I always weave that into the act and am probably officially married to around 8 girls on three continents as a result. Ha!
In any event, we opted to take our honeymoon in the Grotto and splashed around for a bit (although, in full disclosure I did not strip down and jump in like last time), to celebrate and consummate our new holy union.
Hugh Hefner made an appearance, which always draws a big crowd. He is never really in public without at least 4-5 girls, and tonight was no exception. In fact, I want to take a moment to thank the Hef for blazing a trail of awesomeness and inspiration. When I was 16 I idolized the guy and dreamed of hanging out at the Mansion. I guess dreams do come true!
The students had a blast as well, and made some pretty striking progress. One in particular who is relatively new to the game and this kind of lifestyle had some reservations before we hit the Mansion. After a couple drinks and some warm-up photos with half-naked chics, he came out of his proverbial shell and was just on fire the rest of the night.
Once the party really got underway (read: when Paul Oakenfold hit the stage!!) the place just exploded. The thing I love about Mansion parties is, well, some clubs you go to and at first it’s like “Whoa, this is the shit!” but then you go for a couple weeks and then it’s more like “Cool, well, here we are.” – The Mansion is just not like that. Every time it exceeds whatever expectations I have and is just a crazy off-the-hook party
At a certain point memories started to blend together into a composite mosaic of nudity, body paint, alcohol, fun, and catered food. But towards the end of the night I caught a moment of relative peace on the stage with one of my DJ heroes Paul Oakenfold and got to give him my respects.
And as the night wound down. Someone needed a couple girls needed a lift home. I said I didn’t drive. That wasn’t what they had in mind
I really hope that things don’t change too much when Señor Hefner passes on to that big Grotto in the sky. It would be a real shame to lose such a bastion of permissivness and forthright sensuality.
I’m going to try and make this a semi-regular thing; running training events at the Mansion. So keep an eye out in about 6 months for another chance to visit the adult version of the Happiest Place on Earth.
Peace,
Starlight
Playboy Mansion Denouement – An Illustrated Account of Kandy Masquerade is another post by Dating Coach Starlight
Playboy Mansion – Kandy Masquerade – Today is Your Last Chance!
Hey Guys,
So, if you live in California you probably saw a demonstrably excited email or two about the advanced training event that Future and I are running this Saturday. The Playboy Mansion: Kandy Masquerade Party w/ Future and Starlight is fast approaching, so if you’re interested I suggest you get in touch with Jeremy Lubin TODAY and lock it in: Jeremy@LoveSystems.com or (800)680-0821 ext.110
Here is the original post I put up for the event. Seriously. It doesn’t really get much better than this on planet Earth
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Hey Guys,
I’ve been thinking a lot about New Years resolutions…hell, new decade resolutions and am filling up a list with everything I want to do in the next 10 years. Of all the things that you’ve done in the last ten years, is there something missing? One secret wish that hasn’t yet been fulfilled?
Well, if the answer is yes, and if that one special event involves naked playmates covered in edible body paint and candy corns, I have good news for you!
Let’s kick off the 2010’s in style at: Kandy Masquerade: An Evening of Mystique and Seduction at the Playboy Mansion, February 27, 2010!
This is one of the most exclusive events at the Playboy Mansion and under normal circumstances you need an invite from a member of the Karma Foundation which can cost up to $2,000 based on demand.
Well guess what, I’ve got some some tickets and they’re burning a hole in my pocket!
Have you seen the reviews from the last Advanced Bootcamp at the Playboy Mansion, lead by none other than Savoy himself? Out of 12 guys on the program a total of 7 went home with playmate-quality girls!! I mean that is just unheard of (and doesn’t include the Instructors 
Here is an excerpt from one of the attendees:
Duuuuudes!
It is 5:21 am PST, I’m tired as shit, the scotch is still seeping from my pours, and I’m happier and prouder than I can ever remember being! Which is why I have to just tell someone what just happened despite my current state. The final text of the weekend just arrived “I had a flocking good time J” she writes… time stamp: 5:23 am PST. A straight up 10, one of the Playboy Playmate recruits from the mansion Sat night, just left my hotel room. She’s f***ing gorgeous and bones like a porn star!
…Finally, and most importantly! STARLIGHT IS A GOD! After the Sunday seminar he gave me a personal debriefing on my whole night as I had some particular questions. His advise led me to text the girl I lost on the bus home and sure enough she wanted to hang out. Starlight gave me some great text game coaching (which I SUCK at) and as a result, my 10 showed up at my hotel and I closed the hottest girl I’ve ever been with! All-in-all, the best weekend of my life!
-H.F. (Full review here)
No doubt that was one hell of a night!
Now imagine that kind of a set up at THE event of the year at the Playboy Mansion. Imagine yourself in the midst of 300+ drop-dead gorgeous models in body paint, open bar and food all night, cameos by movie stars and even Hugh Hefner himself surrounded by 5 blondes like a champ.
Now hold that thought…add in some of the top Dating Coaches in the world working with you, strategizing, winging you in set, generally making it our mission to give you an experience like in the testimonial above. I want nothing short of the best night of 2010!
That is the opportunity I have to offer you…call it an early Christmas present
If you want in, please notice that this is an exclusive group-training event and not a traditional Love Systems bootcamp.
We’ll get together earlier in the day and work together for 4-5 hours to fine-tune your game, work on personalizing stories and material for you and provide some fashion and style consulting to stand-out in the crowd at the Playboy Mansion. Like when I arrived for the Kandy Halloween party as the original International Man of Mystery:
“The Playboy Mansion was UNBELIEVABLE. I have NEVER seen so many 9′s and 10′s in one place before. There were sets all over the place! It was like sarging heaven. Surprisingly enough, almost all of the girls were very approachable and not even a bit bitchy or cold like I would have expected. With all of these amazing instructors at my disposal I wanted to make sure I learned as much as possible from them. I achieved my goal and I’m glad I did this, as I was rewarded with amazing feedback and got to see some of the best instructors in the business at work in the field.”
-S.F. (Full review here)
If you want to come have an experience that will make your future grandchildren jealous, call or write Jeremy to sign-up:
Jeremy@LoveSystems.com or 1-800-680-0821 ext.110
I only have room for a handful of guys and once the tickets are gone…they are gone for good. So to be fair, it’s first-come-first-serve.
Game On!!
Kandy Masquerade: An Evening of Mystique and Seduction at The Playboy Mansion is another post byDating Coach Starlight
Girl Game – Girls Get a Strategy to Meet Mr. Right in San Francisco
Girl Game
So, last weekend Soul, Bonsai and I ran a sold-out Day Game workshop in San Francisco. SF Weekly sent out a camera crew and female reporter to cover the event, which was fun in the sense that sometimes girls would see the photographer’s lens poking out of the bushes while we were in set in Union Square!
Anyhow, after the event ended, over a few drinks, the reporter threw out the idea: “Hey, how about we put up a Twitter alert for 6 girls looking to improve their love lives with a few professional dating coaches?”
Hmm…coach girls on how to approach & open guys? Sounds fun. A whole new storyline for SF Weekly to play with. And the chance to put a lot of brainstorming with Soul and Whim to work.
So we showed up in the Marina at 8p to meet the 6 lucky ladies.
There was a tall blond personal trainer looking to meet potential mates outside of her profession, a twentysomething Asian advertising exec that just loathed being approached by guys…but yearned to meet new people and build connections in neutral territory before even broaching intimacy.
We sat outside under the clear night sky and heat lamps, getting a feel for all of there relationship lives of late. A lot of interesting stuff came up
Turns out there are a lot of girls out there who are frustrated that guys don’t “do what they’re supposed to” when they give invitations to approach like smiling, looking at you or doing a double take.
So we decided to flip the script and have them open guys, riffing on the stereotype:
“Hey, so I know I’m supposed to stand over and smile at you until you come talk to me, but…I thought you looked cool, so I wanted to come say hi”
Guys jaws dropped, a couple thought they were kidding, but only ONE guy-set blew out our chics all night
Here is a mindmap that Soul & Whim created to map out Girl Game
Soul and I also got a chance to confirm some of the material that we teach:
- Female attraction works like a volume knob; it’s not just on/off like a light switch, and needs to be ramped up through a variety of emotions and intrigue.
- Girls do not get all dolled up just to go dance with their girl friends. They want to meet cool, interesting guys, but generally have come to despise being approached by guys who “just don’t get it” or are “sleezy and weird,” or perhaps worse of all: “guys that are just plain boring”
- That they are irresistibly (and sometimes unexplainably) attracted to guys that “just don’t give a fuck” or can be jerks sometimes…that aren’t afraid of what other people think. (I think this is because it’s a good counter-balance to female hyper-awareness of relative social value, and there place in the hierarchy)
An important takeaway of mine is summed up like this:
All in all, a fun night out. When the article comes out I’ll post it here. Thanks SF Weekly
Girl Game – Girls Get a Strategy to Meet Mr. Right in San Francisco is a post by Dating Coach Starlight. You can also check out:
College Game 101: The Hub and Spoke Model
Kandy Masquerade: An Evening of Mystique and Seduction at the Playboy Mansion
Starlight
Braddock & Mr. M's Phone & Text Game Book – Arrived At Last!
Hey Guys,
Back in mid-2008 I arrived in London wide-eyed and ready to learn from the masters on Project Rockstar. One of the first things Mr. M asked me to do was help him out transcribing some text strings off his phone for the Phone and Text Game Book, which I was all excited to do.
I remember holding his phone and being all like “This is where the magic happens” haha. It’s funny to think back on those times, but the point is that Braddock and Mr. M have been working on this book for well over a year…and it’s only gotten better and more comprehensive with each iteration.
You may notice that we at Love Systems don’t release a ton of products in any given year. Sure, there are Interview Series and blog posts and such, but actual products that are meant to stand the test of time. Well, there is Magic Bullets, Routines Manual I & II….and now the Phone & Text Game Book.
The point is, when Love Systems finally gives the green-light to release a product, you can be damn sure that it has been scrutinized, researched extensively, tested in-field continuously and refined to the point where it has minimal filler and maximum impact.
Plus, if you pick up a copy of the Phone & Text Game Book today you get like 4-5 additional eBooks and audio interviews as a bonus, completely free.
Since all Love Systems products have a 100% money-back guarantee and after this emphatic endorsement that I’m giving the book (which if you follow my blog you know is not an everyday thing, I can’t recommend strongly enough that you check out the be-all, end-all resource for interacting with girls via phone and text
Check it out: Phone & Text Game Book
Starlight Presents: College Game 101 – The Hub & Spoke Model
When it comes to having an active sex life at college there are a few basic principles that will put you ahead of the pack straight away. The typical college hookup is generally characterized as showing up at a frat house with a twelve pack and a beer bong. Yes. That will get you laid. But let’s take a look at a more strategic approach that will also improve your social life and not necessarily require a hangover every time you want to hook up.
The Hub and Spoke Model
The Hub: Your first goal is to become the social connector for your group of friends. This means proactively organizing events and making introductions without having any readily apparent underlying agenda. Examples are:
- Dinner party at your place
- Pre-game at your apartment (before ball games or going out)
- Study group location
- Pajama party for your friends (or fraternity)
- Theme parties, such as engaging the floor of your apartment or dorm to have everyone open their rooms for a couple hours and each room prepares something to share with the others (anything from Jager-bombs to banana bread).
- Color-coded jello shot Twister party
Any of the above done once or twice a month will make your place the social “hub” and you’ll know you’re on the right path if it’s your name on the tip of people’s tongue come Monday morning:
“What did you do last weekend”
“Oh, we pre-gamed at your name’s place and then went out downtown”
Ok, so now you are a social connector and encourage people to bring their friends when you have events or meet-ups at your pad. Your relative social value is high when you’re the host, and you’re meeting people from a position of strength when they’re invited (or brought to) your house. There is no real need to “run game” in your own house if everyone is talkative and having a good time.
The Spokes: Given all the above, you want to leverage your efforts to have a continual stream of people (read: girls) coming through your place. Say you just had a dinner party where everyone brings an ingredient and you make up a recipe on the spot. Fun. Now you’re well fed, it’s time to go out together.
When you are out, be it a college bar or frat party, you want to capitalize on the emotional momentum created by spending time together at your place before hand. This is the time to start doing cold approach. Some of the best nights I’ve had revolved around having 1-2 hours of social time with friends and new acquaintances at my place then going out together and being a cold approach ninja. This works because:
- You are already in a social, talkative headspace
- The conversation and jokes that started at your place carry over to a public venue and create awesome social proof.
- Those conversation threads and jokes can easily be converted to opinion openers to rope others into your conversation.
- You can cold approach with ease, knowing that even in a worst-case scenario blowout your group of friends that thinks highly of you is right there.
When you use the Hub and Spoke model, it’s not uncommon for girls to ask to meet you. Think of the impression it gives off when your group arrives at a venue laughing and joking with each other. Then when you approach others and introduce them around all your friends say something like “Yeah we just had an awesome dinner party at his house, I never knew you could make a one-pot special out of potatoes, cranberries, and candied walnuts.”
Managing End-of-Night Logistics:
The Hub is your place, and the events that you initiate that take place there. The Spokes are the new people you meet through these events, both the ones that come to your place with friends, and the ones that you cold approach out at a venue and bring to your Hub.
You’re creating a situation wherein you are the social connector and anyone that comes in contact with your group will effortlessly get a very positive impression of you. This hits one of the most powerful attractions switches “Pre-Selection” like a jackhammer.
At this point you just need to manage logistics and have a reason to head back to your place with one or two people after you’ve gone out. This can easily flow from the events earlier in the evening:
“You gotta come check out the aftermath of color-coded jello shot Twister, there are red, green, blue and yellow hand and foot prints all over the living room!”
“Getting hungry? There are some killer leftovers from our surprise one-pot special dinner party…you wouldn’t believe what happens when celery, brown sugar and peanut butter fight to the death in a simmering wok”
Concluding Motivational Speech:
College is a unique time in life when trying new things is the norm. Being in a new city, sometimes out from under the parental umbrella for the first time, is the perfect pretext for meeting new people and escalating towards intimacy rather quickly.
Be the person who is social, fun and most of all who connects people with one another. Do not waste the golden opportunity of college with your nose in a textbook on a Friday night. There is plenty of time for that Sunday through Thursday. Make it happen. Game on!
~ Starlight ~
College Game 101 – The Hub & Spoke Model is another post by Dating Coach Starlight
Not To Be Missed: Braddock on Inner Game
Hey Guys,
Happy New Year first and foremost! From catching up with friends all around the world it sounds like 1.) Everyone partied exceptionally hard for the turn of the decade, and 2.) Unanimous opinion is that 2010 will be an Awesome year! I’m all about that, so let’s make it happen.
Take a moment to check out Braddock’s post on his truly ground-breaking Inner Game Seminar here: http://www.braddocksblog.com/2010/01/love-systems-inner-game-seminar/
I was fortunate enough to sit-in on this seminar early last year and I can’t say enough about it. I took almost 40 pages of notes spanning everything from how neuropsychology affects our worldviews to “going Supernova” when all the pistons in life start firing in unison…it changed the way I looked at almost all the relationships in my life and uncovered some issues that I really needed to look at and address in myself.
Inner Game isn’t a typical seminar about “Game” per se, but I can’t overstate how much our identity-level beliefs and outlooks on the world affect our ability to meet/attract quality girls.
Let me know what you think. Braddock (and Mr M) are onto something here that I think is more important, and definitely more relevant, than most graduate level applied psychology courses.
Peace!
Starlight