How to Kill Approach Anxiety: Do 100 Approaches!
Hey Guys,
So, last weekend on Saturday was probably the clearest day in San Francisco all year. Sunny, warm, not a cloud in the sky. And as if the end of winter and impending arrival of Spring and Summer wasn’t enough, to make for a perfect day of Day Game, we had the St. Patrick’s Day Parade AND Brides of March going on in SF. Brides of March is where around 500 girls, lesbians (and some drag queens) get dressed up like brides and march through SF drinking and getting stoned 
Anyhow, that’s background. I had a 1-to-1 with a hispanic guy who wanted to accomplish one thing, and one thing only, on our session: Kill Approach Anxiety…Forever.
He told me if he didn’t approach 100 girls today he didn’t feel like he’d ever get enough confidence to approach on his own. Hmm, I thought to myself, did some quick mental math and figured, well, if he approaches around 15 girls/hour for 7 hours that is a little over 100.
Basically, as a Love Systems Instructor, it’s all about giving the client what they want. That’s not just some feel-good corporate line, actually we DO listen to clients and, if it is even remotely feasible, work towards giving them exactly what they want.
So, after a quick primer and some opening exercises (he had taken a bootcamp before, so didn’t need to go over the whole Emotional Progression Model and Triad) we hit Union Square and got to work!
And to make double-sure that we didn’t miss an approach, I whipped out the trusty notepad and made tallys for each set. If he got blown out right away or it didn’t go well, he would come back and say “No, no, don’t count that one!”
And there you have it, 100 approaches…and a reminder for him to do role plays that I would hold up over the girl’s head so he could be reminded to incorporate his interests as a photographer…asking if she would be his model for the final photo shoot for his Isla del Alcatraz photo shoot, ha!
The St. Patty’s Day parade was going off around Noon and people were throwing beads, throwing back shots and throwing candy all over Market St. Basically there was no shortage of people to talk to, including this cute little leprechaun
All in all, he approached 103 girls (that he wanted to count!) – and I gotta give big props to Sergio for coming up from Santa Cruz to help out.
Somewhere around set #28, he came back and I said “Dude, she was hot!” and he goes “Really? I didn’t notice.” And at first methinks, ok he’s being sarcastic. Then the look on his face told me he was serious. So, not to let that happen again, I drew up a little note to hold up so he could know, without a shadow of a doubt, that the girl he was talking to was hot:
The moral of the story, and the reason I have big respect for this client, is that he recognized a problem he wanted to fix and pushed himself to the absolute limit to overcome it. It’s not enough to just read books/posts and go out and approach a couple girls a month expecting to get good. No. You need to go out and Approach, plow as far as you can, get feedback from a professional, and then go do it again, and Again, and AGAIN…that is how to get good!
He we are after set #89 in front of the Love Systems-esque heart in Union Square.
Seriously, approaching 103 girls in one day!? That has got to be a world record of pickup! Get out there and make it happen guys. See ya on the streets.
Game on,
Starlight
How To Kill Approach Anxiety: Do 100 Approaches! is another post by Dating Coach Starlight