Archive for March, 2010
How to Kill Approach Anxiety: Do 100 Approaches!
Hey Guys,
So, last weekend on Saturday was probably the clearest day in San Francisco all year. Sunny, warm, not a cloud in the sky. And as if the end of winter and impending arrival of Spring and Summer wasn’t enough, to make for a perfect day of Day Game, we had the St. Patrick’s Day Parade AND Brides of March going on in SF. Brides of March is where around 500 girls, lesbians (and some drag queens) get dressed up like brides and march through SF drinking and getting stoned 
Anyhow, that’s background. I had a 1-to-1 with a hispanic guy who wanted to accomplish one thing, and one thing only, on our session: Kill Approach Anxiety…Forever.
He told me if he didn’t approach 100 girls today he didn’t feel like he’d ever get enough confidence to approach on his own. Hmm, I thought to myself, did some quick mental math and figured, well, if he approaches around 15 girls/hour for 7 hours that is a little over 100.
Basically, as a Love Systems Instructor, it’s all about giving the client what they want. That’s not just some feel-good corporate line, actually we DO listen to clients and, if it is even remotely feasible, work towards giving them exactly what they want.
So, after a quick primer and some opening exercises (he had taken a bootcamp before, so didn’t need to go over the whole Emotional Progression Model and Triad) we hit Union Square and got to work!
And to make double-sure that we didn’t miss an approach, I whipped out the trusty notepad and made tallys for each set. If he got blown out right away or it didn’t go well, he would come back and say “No, no, don’t count that one!”
And there you have it, 100 approaches…and a reminder for him to do role plays that I would hold up over the girl’s head so he could be reminded to incorporate his interests as a photographer…asking if she would be his model for the final photo shoot for his Isla del Alcatraz photo shoot, ha!
The St. Patty’s Day parade was going off around Noon and people were throwing beads, throwing back shots and throwing candy all over Market St. Basically there was no shortage of people to talk to, including this cute little leprechaun
All in all, he approached 103 girls (that he wanted to count!) – and I gotta give big props to Sergio for coming up from Santa Cruz to help out.
Somewhere around set #28, he came back and I said “Dude, she was hot!” and he goes “Really? I didn’t notice.” And at first methinks, ok he’s being sarcastic. Then the look on his face told me he was serious. So, not to let that happen again, I drew up a little note to hold up so he could know, without a shadow of a doubt, that the girl he was talking to was hot:
The moral of the story, and the reason I have big respect for this client, is that he recognized a problem he wanted to fix and pushed himself to the absolute limit to overcome it. It’s not enough to just read books/posts and go out and approach a couple girls a month expecting to get good. No. You need to go out and Approach, plow as far as you can, get feedback from a professional, and then go do it again, and Again, and AGAIN…that is how to get good!
He we are after set #89 in front of the Love Systems-esque heart in Union Square.
Seriously, approaching 103 girls in one day!? That has got to be a world record of pickup! Get out there and make it happen guys. See ya on the streets.
Game on,
Starlight
How To Kill Approach Anxiety: Do 100 Approaches! is another post by Dating Coach Starlight
Playboy Mansion Denouement – An Illustrated Account of Kandy Masquerade 2010
Playboy Mansion Denouement – An Illustrated Account of Kandy Masquerade
“God I love my life”
That was the first thought that popped into my head as I opened my eyes, slightly hungover, and found myself looking out across Los Angeles valley…all the way to the ocean, totally clear. That happens like, what, once a year?
Second thought: “Oh damn, there even playing the Adam K remix of 4am down at the pool!” – But then I realized I just left my computer on repeat when I passed out at like 5:12am.
The Playboy Mansion did not fail to disappoint. We made sure to arrive early and were treated to the grand entrance of entirely naked, fully body-painted models and playmates alike
I proposed to a number of girls…and I remember at least two of them saying yes. This is a dangerous habit of mine, especially when doing programs with Future, because somehow, someway he is officially an ordained minister. I always weave that into the act and am probably officially married to around 8 girls on three continents as a result. Ha!
In any event, we opted to take our honeymoon in the Grotto and splashed around for a bit (although, in full disclosure I did not strip down and jump in like last time), to celebrate and consummate our new holy union.
Hugh Hefner made an appearance, which always draws a big crowd. He is never really in public without at least 4-5 girls, and tonight was no exception. In fact, I want to take a moment to thank the Hef for blazing a trail of awesomeness and inspiration. When I was 16 I idolized the guy and dreamed of hanging out at the Mansion. I guess dreams do come true!
The students had a blast as well, and made some pretty striking progress. One in particular who is relatively new to the game and this kind of lifestyle had some reservations before we hit the Mansion. After a couple drinks and some warm-up photos with half-naked chics, he came out of his proverbial shell and was just on fire the rest of the night.
Once the party really got underway (read: when Paul Oakenfold hit the stage!!) the place just exploded. The thing I love about Mansion parties is, well, some clubs you go to and at first it’s like “Whoa, this is the shit!” but then you go for a couple weeks and then it’s more like “Cool, well, here we are.” – The Mansion is just not like that. Every time it exceeds whatever expectations I have and is just a crazy off-the-hook party
At a certain point memories started to blend together into a composite mosaic of nudity, body paint, alcohol, fun, and catered food. But towards the end of the night I caught a moment of relative peace on the stage with one of my DJ heroes Paul Oakenfold and got to give him my respects.
And as the night wound down. Someone needed a couple girls needed a lift home. I said I didn’t drive. That wasn’t what they had in mind
I really hope that things don’t change too much when Señor Hefner passes on to that big Grotto in the sky. It would be a real shame to lose such a bastion of permissivness and forthright sensuality.
I’m going to try and make this a semi-regular thing; running training events at the Mansion. So keep an eye out in about 6 months for another chance to visit the adult version of the Happiest Place on Earth.
Peace,
Starlight
Playboy Mansion Denouement – An Illustrated Account of Kandy Masquerade is another post by Dating Coach Starlight