Dating Coach Starlight

When it comes to having an active sex life at college there are a few basic principles that will put you ahead of the pack straight away. The typical college hookup is generally characterized as showing up at a frat house with a twelve pack and a beer bong. Yes. That will get you laid. But let’s take a look at a more strategic approach that will also improve your social life and not necessarily require a hangover every time you want to hook up.

The Hub and Spoke Model

The Hub: Your first goal is to become the social connector for your group of friends. This means proactively organizing events and making introductions without having any readily apparent underlying agenda. Examples are:

• Dinner party at your place
• Pre-game at your apartment (before ball games or going out)
• Study group location
• Pajama party for your friends (or fraternity)
• Theme parties, such as engaging the floor of your apartment or dorm to have everyone open their rooms for a couple hours and each room prepares something to share with the others (anything from Jager-bombs to banana bread).
• Color-coded jello shot Twister party

Any of the above done once or twice a month will make your place the social “hub” and you’ll know you’re on the right path if it’s your name on the tip of people’s tongue come Monday morning:

“What did you do last weekend”

“Oh, we pre-gamed at your name’s place and then went out downtown”

Ok, so now you are a social connector and encourage people to bring their friends when you have events or meet-ups at your pad. Your relative social value is high when you’re the host, and you’re meeting people from a position of strength when they’re invited (or brought to) your house. There is no real need to “run game” in your own house if everyone is talkative and having a good time.

The Spokes: Given all the above, you want to leverage your efforts to have a continual stream of people (read: girls) coming through your place. Say you just had a dinner party where everyone brings an ingredient and you make up a recipe on the spot. Fun. Now you’re well fed, it’s time to go out together.

When you are out, be it a college bar or frat party, you want to capitalize on the emotional momentum created by spending time together at your place before hand. This is the time to start doing cold approach. Some of the best nights I’ve had revolved around having 1-2 hours of social time with friends and new acquaintances at my place then going out together and being a cold approach ninja. This works because:

• You are already in a social, talkative headspace
• The conversation and jokes that started at your place carry over to a public venue and create awesome social proof.
• Those conversation threads and jokes can easily be converted to opinion openers to rope others into your conversation.
• You can cold approach with ease, knowing that even in a worst-case scenario blowout your group of friends that thinks highly of you is right there.

When you use the Hub and Spoke model, it’s not uncommon for girls to ask to meet you. Think of the impression it gives off when your group arrives at a venue laughing and joking with each other. Then when you approach others and introduce them around all your friends say something like “Yeah we just had an awesome dinner party at his house, I never knew you could make a one-pot special out of potatoes, cranberries, and candied walnuts.”

Managing End-of-Night Logistics:

The Hub is your place, and the events that you initiate that take place there. The Spokes are the new people you meet through these events, both the ones that come to your place with friends, and the ones that you cold approach out at a venue and bring to your Hub.

You’re creating a situation wherein you are the social connector and anyone that comes in contact with your group will effortlessly get a very positive impression of you. This hits one of the most powerful attractions switches “Pre-Selection” like a jackhammer.

At this point you just need to manage logistics and have a reason to head back to your place with one or two people after you’ve gone out. This can easily flow from the events earlier in the evening:

“You gotta come check out the aftermath of color-coded jello shot Twister, there are red, green, blue and yellow hand and foot prints all over the living room!”

“Getting hungry? There are some killer leftovers from our surprise one-pot special dinner party…you wouldn’t believe what happens when celery, brown sugar and peanut butter fight to the death in a simmering wok”

Concluding Motivational Speech:

College is a unique time in life when trying new things is the norm. Being in a new city, sometimes out from under the parental umbrella for the first time, is the perfect pretext for meeting new people and escalating towards intimacy rather quickly.

Be the person who is social, fun and most of all who connects people with one another. Do not waste the golden opportunity of college with your nose in a textbook on a Friday night. There is plenty of time for that Sunday through Thursday. Make it happen. Game on!

~ Starlight ~

College Game 101 – The Hub & Spoke Model is another post by Dating Coach Starlight