Archive for January, 2010
Back in mid-2008 I arrived in London wide-eyed and ready to learn from the masters on Project Rockstar. One of the first things Mr. M asked me to do was help him out transcribing some text strings off his phone for the Phone and Text Game Book, which I was all excited to do.
I remember holding his phone and being all like “This is where the magic happens” haha. It’s funny to think back on those times, but the point is that Braddock and Mr. M have been working on this book for well over a year…and it’s only gotten better and more comprehensive with each iteration.
You may notice that we at Love Systems don’t release a ton of products in any given year. Sure, there are Interview Series and blog posts and such, but actual products that are meant to stand the test of time. Well, there is Magic Bullets, Routines Manual I & II….and now the Phone & Text Game Book.
The point is, when Love Systems finally gives the green-light to release a product, you can be damn sure that it has been scrutinized, researched extensively, tested in-field continuously and refined to the point where it has minimal filler and maximum impact.
Plus, if you pick up a copy of the Text Game Book today you get like 4-5 additional eBooks and audio interviews as a bonus, completely free.
Since all Love Systems products have a 100% money-back guarantee and after this emphatic endorsement that I’m giving the book (which if you follow my blog you know is not an everyday thing, I can’t recommend strongly enough that you check out the be-all, end-all resource for interacting with girls via phone and text
Check it out: Phone & Text Game Book
Statement . . . Question: Pass The Baton
Run With It – Hold it –Drop the Baton
Qualification is about standards. Your standards. Once she has some basic feelings of attraction towards you, it’s time to fill in the non-physical reasons as to why you like her. When a girl says:
o “Why do you like me?”
o “Why are you talking to me?” (not confrontational or testing)
o “What do you see in me?”
o “Do you really like me?”
She is likely asking this because she feels like you only like her for her body. Or just want to sleep with her without getting to know her. Or that you won’t care about her anymore if she keeps progressing physically with you.
So I came up with a recipe for Soft Qualification to throw in your sets early to quickly screen for commonalities that you personally care about. With one or two of these establish there is always a plausible reason to be interested in her that you can weave back into the conversation. You want her to feel a connection with you based on shared interests, then remember the reason/feeling if she’s asking “Why do you like me?” later on
Recipe for Soft Qualification
Ø 3-4 ripe Umbrella Topicsthat are interests or passions of yours.
Ø 2 seasonal varieties of each Topic that address either who, what, where, when, why or how .
Ø A handful of people and places that illustrate the questions above
Ø And a touch of flair to bring the stories to life
Scour the farmer’s market of your mind for 3-4 ripe Umbrella Topics. These are the things you like, topics your study, and activities you enjoy.They are ripe because theyare relevant. These are not areas of interest circa 1996, but the things you’re currently involved in or exploring undertaking. Spend 5-10 minutes thinking about what these 3-4 areas are.
Slice each topic in two. Chose two aspects of the topic that address the 5 W questions (who, what, where, when, why).
Now add in some of the people you do these activities with, the places that you do them.
Finally add in some spice to give the stories a unique flavor. These are emotional highs and lows that make the story a visceral experience in it’s retelling.
When it comes to having an active sex life at college there are a few basic principles that will put you ahead of the pack straight away. The typical college hookup is generally characterized as showing up at a frat house with a twelve pack and a beer bong. Yes. That will get you laid.But let’s take a look at a more strategic approach that will also improve your social life and not necessarily require a hangover every time you want to hook up.
The Hub and Spoke Model
The Hub: Your first goal is to become the social connector for your group of friends. This means proactively organizing events and making introductions without having any readily apparent underlying agenda. Examples are:
- Dinner party at your place
- Pre-game at your apartment (before ball games or going out)
- Study group location
- Pajama party for your friends (or fraternity)
- Theme parties, such as engaging the floor of your apartment or dorm to have everyone open their rooms for a couple hours and each room prepares something to share with the others (anything from Jager-bombs to banana bread).
- Color-coded jello shot Twister party
Any of the above done once or twice a month will make your place the social “hub” and you’ll know you’re on the right path if it’s your name on the tip of people’s tongue come Monday morning:
“What did you do last weekend”
“Oh, we pre-gamed at your name‘s place and then went out downtown”
Ok, so now you are a social connector and encourage people to bring their friends when you have events or meet-ups at your pad. Your relative social value is high when you’re the host, and you’re meeting people from a position of strength when they’re invited (or brought to) your house. There is no real need to “run game” in your own house if everyone is talkative and having a good time.
The Spokes: Given all the above, you want to leverage your efforts to have a continual stream of people (read: girls) coming through your place. Say you just had a dinner party where everyone brings an ingredient and you make up a recipe on the spot. Fun. Now you’re well fed, it’s time to go out together.
When you are out, be it a college bar or frat party, you want to capitalize on the emotional momentum created by spending time together at your place before hand. This is the time to start doing cold approach.Some of the best nights I’ve had revolved around having 1-2 hours of social time with friends and new acquaintances at my place then going out together and being a cold approach ninja. This works because:
- You are already in a social, talkative headspace
- The conversation and jokes that started at your place carry over to a public venue and create awesome social proof.
- Those conversation threads and jokes can easily be converted to opinion openers to rope others into your conversation.
- You can cold approach with ease, knowing that even in a worst-case scenario blowout your group of friends that thinks highly of you is right there.
When you use the Hub and Spoke model, it’s not uncommon for girls to ask to meet you. Think of the impression it gives off when your group arrives at a venue laughing and joking with each other. Then when you approach others and introduce them around all your friends say something like “Yeah we just had an awesome dinner party at his house, I never knew you could make a one-pot special out of potatoes, cranberries, and candied walnuts.”
Managing End-of-Night Logistics:
The Hub is your place, and the events that you initiate that take place there. The Spokes are the new people you meet through these events, both the ones that come to your place with friends, and the ones that you cold approach out at a venue and bring to your Hub.
You’re creating a situation wherein you are the social connector and anyone that comes in contact with your group will effortlessly get a very positive impression of you. This hits one of the most powerful attractions switches “Pre-Selection” like a jackhammer.
At this point you just need to manage logistics and have a reason to head back to your place with one or two people after you’ve gone out. This can easily flow from the events earlier in the evening:
“You gotta come check out the aftermath of color-coded jello shot Twister, there are red, green, blue and yellow hand and foot prints all over the living room!”
“Getting hungry? There are some killer leftovers from our surprise one-pot special dinner party…you wouldn’t believe what happens when celery, brown sugar and peanut butter fight to the death in a simmering wok”
Concluding Motivational Speech:
College is a unique time in life when trying new things is the norm. Being in a new city, sometimes out from under the parental umbrella for the first time, is the perfect pretext for meeting new people and escalating towards intimacy rather quickly.
Be the person who is social, fun and most of all who connects people with one another. Do not waste the golden opportunity of college with your nose in a textbook on a Friday night. There is plenty of time for that Sunday through Thursday. Make it happen. Game on!
~ Starlight ~
College Game 101 – The Hub & Spoke Model is another post by Dating Coach Starlight
Happy New Year first and foremost! From catching up with friends all around the world it sounds like 1.) Everyone partied exceptionally hard for the turn of the decade, and 2.) Unanimous opinion is that 2010 will be an Awesome year! I’m all about that, so let’s make it happen.
Take a moment to check out Braddock’s post on his truly ground-breaking Inner Game Seminar here: http://www.braddocksblog.com/2010/01/love-systems-inner-game-seminar/
I was fortunate enough to sit-in on this seminar early last year and I can’t say enough about it. I took almost 40 pages of notes spanning everything from how neuropsychology affects our worldviews to “going Supernova” when all the pistons in life start firing in unison…it changed the way I looked at almost all the relationships in my life and uncovered some issues that I really needed to look at and address in myself.
Inner Game isn’t a typical seminar about “Game” per se, but I can’t overstate how much our identity-level beliefs and outlooks on the world affect our ability to meet/attract quality girls.
Let me know what you think. Braddock (and Mr M) are onto something here that I think is more important, and definitely more relevant, than most graduate level applied psychology courses.